AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize