I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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