I wannas sexs uuuuu
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
