no, he came in my armpit
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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