dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
