I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize