Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize