Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My breasts were aching with rage.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
