I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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