tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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