im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
