Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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