great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
