Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
