I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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