Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
