I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
