Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize