I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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