I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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