Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
