when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
