he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
