I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize