New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
