Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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