The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
