Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
