what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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