hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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