hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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