I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
