would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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