can u get pink eye on your cock?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
