we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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