We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
