can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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