we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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