Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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