what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
