You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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