gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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