You just made me feel so damn special
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
