So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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