he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize