to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
