you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
