you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
