hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
