Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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