Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
