It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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