since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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