i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize