You were right. It hurts to walk today.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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