I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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