My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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