Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
